So today I found myself thinking about living with my
boyfriend, that is, as my husband. Contrary to what you think, us ladies don’t
think about that for every man, and if someone lied to you about that, well
then maybe you are the type to be lied to. But let me speak for myself, I don’t
always think about a man as my husband, like picture real situations, unless
there is something I like about that man, something that I have found out is very
rare, only these days though. Back then there was a lot to like, or I was a
more likeable person, or both. Anyway, before you wonder which boyfriend this
is, the one and only one I always wax lyrical about. Well, we have not yet
established what name to give each other, so since there was no proper ‘I am no
longer your boyfriend / girlfriend’ talk, he can go by the same title but only
so that I can find an easy reference word when it comes to talking about him,
which I will do a lot in this post (or I have done almost entirely since I
started writing this blog),and frankly there is no one else who has come close
enough to the title, speaking of which, is it because I live in the ‘leafy suburbs’ or are handsome guys nonexistent nowadays?
Seriously! This one I met many many months ago and then… none! Dry spell. Come
on guys, you cannot seriously tell me that there is not one huge, (and by huge I mean normal big boned) guy who
possesses the arrogance of 10 men put together and who lies sentence after
sentence, and mind you, the lying is not to make you feel good! Now that I
trailed off the subject and I am too far away, I might as well inform you of
something I saw, or rather, was the topic in Matatu fm, but I was not exactly
listening, I just read Mainas’ status for the day. So apparently, being a
single mother to a baby boy seriously minimizes your chances of finding a life
partner! Such messages should never reach me, very disturbing. Worse is the
fact that lately I have been seeing more signs of me ending up single than
married a lot, and I don’t like them. If you do not know this by now, be
informed that there is nothing I hate more than the thought of living
alone. It’s not like it scares me, no,
not at all. I have lived alone for the past 28 years, so I don’t see anything
that should scare me, given that I have never experienced anything else. No
guys, I just really hate the thought. I wish, and this guys, is not just a
wish, it’s a fervent prayer, that I get married, properly. Wedding, rings, a
baby (or two), and a happily ever after because if I ever get married, there
never will be a divorce. That you can quote me on, for a person who has spent
her entire life thinking of this situation and having experienced none, and
having heard tales of why things happen, I know what I am talking about.
Currently though, my prayer has become God give me a husband who if it’s not
Ben, looks like him. Some days ago, it was like, God, I want to get married, to
Ben. May your will be done, but in that category, only if your will is Ben.
(Btw, it just hit me that someone here might think I am referring to a Ben they
know about. No guys, that’s just a name I give to my boyfriend, not his real
name but one that he prefers when it comes to aliases). True, I value good
looks, I believe that’s the start to anything. I mean, before I give you a
chance, I have to like looking at your face and making conversation to it,
right? Well, apparently some girls don’t date handsome guys. In reference to
what a close pal of mine said once, you
should date a not handsome guy (in avoidance of bad words), because they will
value you, do anything for you and cling to you like you are life itself, brag
with you to their friends and make you feel like a queen. Handsome guys are just trouble. That btw, so
true! I have had my share of trouble, but then if they are not trouble, then
where the hell is the challenge? You have no idea how much I fear a plain life,
now that I fear because my life has rarely had any plain. If it’s not being a
wayward child, it’s getting expectant while in school and an acting bible study
group mother at that, it’s getting myself out of one job after another, its
dating unsuccessfully, it’s getting saved then unsaved then not praying at all…talk
about! And I keep wondering why nothing falls in place!
Back to the topic. So I can’t tell specifically what I was
thinking about or how that came to be, so what I will do is trail my thoughts
from where I started and see if I can come up with something useful. Be warned
though that my thought process is quite skewed, I think faster that I can process
and store the thoughts, so you might notice some skips, which you should not
have a problem with because this is my vision damn it!
So there is this gal in his life that I so love, for the
simple fact that she can stand up to his ass and can be really mean to him.
Once she referred to ‘his bitches’, and that my dears, made me so happy.
Probably it’s because I have never been able to fight the guy? I mean, it’s not
like I lack the words or the situations, the guy is damn annoying, given a
chance, standing up to him is the only thing I would do in this life. But faced
with such level of hot! I mean, just how much anger and attitude can withstand
such heat?! I know what you are thinking right now, that I love him for the
wrong reasons. No guys, he is hot, and I will be damned if I don’t refer to it.
After all, that is all that people on the street will notice, and any of my
friends who can make a mistake of coming near him, because I doubt he has
anything good to say. But then, there is more to him than his face, body and
cargo! Really, there is real and worthy content. I promise to do a post on what
I find attractive in that guy soon.
So anyway, I remembered the ‘your bitches’ episode, and I
was excited. I started imagining situations that would make me stand up to this
guy in such fashion! And you guys wonder why I would like to spend the rest of
my life with this guy? Simply to do such stupid things, hehe. If the standing
up to him will ever happen, then it will have to happen in marriage, I mean,
currently I find it hard not to just stand beside him and become a dump
stammering blond! Seriously guys, I struggle to maintain composure with this
guy, eti I struggle to even talk normally unless I have spent the night with
him and have had a chance to normalize the situation and the runny feelings.
Who can even imagine that! Me, unable to talk like a parrot! I figured that the
only time I will be able to stand up to this guy is way into the marriage, like
1 year or so into it. I mean, let’s face it, this guy is stupidly annoying, not
habits, hapana, words and sentences that come out of his mouth. Sometimes it’s
all I can do not to tape his mouth up! So I figure, just how much of this
annoying can I stand? After one year of marriage, I definitely will have to
give in to the urges of standing up to the man, right?
So I pictured the situation, how it will happen. First, I
have to make sure it is justified. I will avoid all communication channels
during the day, every day, simply because I would want to have peaceful days
and anything coming from him will make the day anything but peaceful. So how
will I do this? First, I quit going to the social sites the day we say ‘I do’,
so no more chit chatting, afterall we are both updated on how the other is, to
a more than decent extent. Second, I will make sure that I have done everything
that concerns him right, be it ironing his shirts, putting his socks together,
and making sure that his underwear is in place and his breakfast is good and
ready on time. This will make sure that I do not get a call from him, or even a
text message, and if I do, it has to be a matter of urgency or a request or a
plan… Many will wonder why I would avoid communication with my husband. Well,
knowing the man as much as I do, you will understand that I would not want to
start a war during the day, given the fact that each evening I will be going to
face him anyway and he is going to romp my goodies away whether I want to or
not and there is nothing I can do because he has rights to the goodies anyway!
Don’t get me wrong, I love making love to this guy, I do it the whole day, nonstop,
and I know he knows. So given that every situation is taken care of and I have
avoided getting to his wrong side, then the guy goes ahead and does what he
does best, annoys me, tell me dear friends, what will stop me from standing up
to him, and happily so? See where my endless tales were leading?
That’s it ladies and gentlemen. For once I am in the house
on a Friday and I am liking it.
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