Come and make, my heart, your home,
Come and be everything I have and all I know,
Search me, through and through,
Till my heart becomes, a home for you.
Every so often, something happens in my life, that throws me completely off balance. It's one of those times where a walking shell is not just a pseudonym, it's reality. Although I have come across few other situations like that, and made it in one piece, these situations are so unique, they hit you in such a new fashion such that you cannot borrow from what you did previously. I know that life is very unfair, but finally, each of us will have undergone a crisis at one time or the other (or not, some people are born privileged, their biggest problems are what others would laugh about, such as my friend and I are not in good terms. They marry well, have beautiful kids, work less and have more,...).
Now is one of those times, the past one month has come with so many challenges, I wake up at night and wonder what day it is, am I supposed to report to work tomorrow? I come to work and move around like a zombie, nothing makes sense anymore. If you sum up the past 30 days, the following things have happened:
My baby has been unwell for like 10 or so of them, missed school for 1 week
I've lost 2 phones, one was picked from my handbag, another was snatched while I was talking
I have lost a boyfriend and a half
I was optimistic about a certain business but after going through the logistics, not anymore (money wasted on this)
My contract expired and although it was extended, I decided to step out
The excitement I had about starting my own business (not the one talked about prior), has faced so much discouragement, I'm just but hanging in there
I found out that there is an anomaly with my Sacco account, apparently, the money I religiously have deducted from my salary never really gets there. (This mind you, is my alleged capital to start up my biz).
After losing my phone, only 2 pals have made effort to look for me, (the encouraging bit of this is, one of them was so concerned, she called my house girl)
After trying to pursue the first business so much, I am already very broke and it's just mid month
After all this, I'm anything but well. I will be well, that I know; My baby is better now, not completely good but the other day, I made a stop at KNH bus stop, I saw a kid, my baby's size, he was so ill, he could barely walk, and his eyes were tearly, clearly showing the baby was in pain. I have reason to thank God, my baby is back to school. I already have a promise for a small phone, thank God for small mercies like loyal friends, my boyfriend might be gone, but I have so much going on, he is the last thing on my mind, I am sure I would not want a boyfriend at my current state, so, all this is for the better. When I am done, I will get me a boyfriend, who knows, he might be better, and my taste might be a bit classier. I might or might not have a job, whichever way, it won't matter. My business will not only have started (something that has been waiting to happen for like a year now), it will be doing very well, paying salaries and wages and counting profits in terms of millions. My loyal friends will still be my best friends, I will have made other friends, some real, others fake, but my soul will float and I will be happy.
I also have lost morale for any type of writing, not that you will miss me, given you rarely come by. I hope that didn't come out so bitterly.
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