Dear Ben,
By now you are used to me writing letters to you, so no need
for pleasantries. Read on.
You are right, I have been thinking long and hard about you,
but before that gets into your head, you need to listen to Jordan Spark’s ‘Don’t
let it go to your head’, it applies most appropriately here.
I will make this short and precise, because that is what you
are in my mind right now, short and precise. From our last conversation, you
asked me when we will be meeting next, though in not such good language. Let me
inform you that I was not impressed with the answer I gave to you; ‘you tell me’?
really? Clearly I become a blabbering idiot whenever I talk to you. But I have
accepted that you have the effect on me, and I’m moving on, not by removing the
effect, but by ignoring it, consciously.
So this letter is to give you my response, and tell you a
little something more, just a little. After that conversation, it was clear
that my response should have been ‘do we still do that’? coz that is what kept
ringing in my head. Right now though, my response is ‘Please dude!’ okay,
replace dude with idiot, that was meant for courtesy to my other fans, but then,
I realize that you don’t deserve it. So my response is, where the hell have you
been for the last 3 months (precisely)? And what the hell has your other headed
body part been up to? I know your crappy answer, too busy and chips do not
appeal to me anymore. Save it, I want you to show me a guy who has a perfectly
capable girlfriend but who chooses to go for 3 months without! I might have
been listening to your bullshit, but I hope you never lied to yourself that I
swallow it. You must know by now that I am not as dramatic as you thought I
was, in fact, I do anything to avoid it, hence my playing a dumb idiot with
you.
Let me put it to you this way, the next time you ever, and I
mean ever, get into my pants, you will have to start dating me, date me
properly and wait for a full three month term. When I speak about dating, do
not lie to yourself that you will just make that decision and just start. Let
me not bullshit you on that, you will undergo the same criteria with the rest
of them out there. You will be rated as per competition and trust me, right
now, your ratings have a very negative edge to them, so you will have to do
better than your usual. Don’t forget there will be explaining of your
activities for the past 3 months, and that better be credible.
I will give you
facts as they are, I leave the lies to you, you are the expert. So yes, I have
been hang up, no one has come around to near replacing you, but brag not, for I
am not a desperate damsel seated somewhere waiting for my prince charming to
come save me from your (frog’s) jaws. I am out on a mission to look for a man,
and I will get him, and he will be better than you. Mark those words. It won’t
take long either, mark that too. I am also going to get me sexually satisfied,
and I can’t wait for 3 months, take that as you will.
Let me mention, you do not have to do any of the above,
because what I know right now, is you do not have to come back, in fact, I
doubt that we can ever be back. If you think that will have an impact in my
life, you got another thought coming. I will tell you, suit yourself, do as you
wish. I am out!
Signed
Ladybird
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