I realize how weak I am as a human being who is a woman. I am alarmed at the twist my fantasies with this guy has taken. I am worried at how deeply personal my want for this guy has become. It is so personal, I want him to be my other half literally, i.e half me half him. (I know, scary!). I'm not one to exagerate, but a self check is not working no more. Professional therapy before I become completely stupid.