Yes! There’s a red siren in that bit of my life. For those who wish to know, which is all of you given you are past the posts heading, I have had sex 6 times this year! Wait on, make that 6 separate days and not times, which is not a consolation given we are in the 8th month of the year and if you did basic calculus, you realize that’s 0.75 times a month or 0.03 times a day!
I know you wonder, am I interested in sex? Answer is 101%. Not only am I sexually healthy, I love having sex, as long as there’s attraction and some sort of compatibility between the involved parties. Next question is, do I have a boyfriend? Well, I have had one for the last 1 year 5 months, not that it matters given that those who know the value and pleasure they derive from sex do have it constantly, probably daily, boyfriend or not. Come to the third question, is your boyfriend impotent? That question just got me laughing; it’s good that I can laugh at my own jokes. Answer is, for the 6 active days I got to have him sexually this year, it was mind blowing, toe curling and heart breaking. Heart breaking because every time he is in me, I keep thinking get the most you can girl, try milk everything you can because that’s likely the most you will get in a long long time. I agree, my sex life is sad. Anyhu, he is a lot of things, not impotent, he delivers wonderfully and selflessly and clearly knows his way around. Which then means he must be sexually active, which given the fact that I am not sexually active begs the question, how is that possible? The next question you might probably ask is, is it the first time it has occurred to me that I am 90% likely not alone? Answer is no. I’m neither stupid nor naïve, but like every other woman I hate to be hurt, I like to imagine and fantasize that I am alone, I am special, I am loved and that my man loves having sex with me and only me. Speaking of which, this desire to be a good woman, to be whole and independent, to get married and soon and to have a beautiful long lasting marriage till death do us part is not doing me any good. Frankly my life was better and way more interesting when I was a bad girl. If it were then, I can promise you the number of sex days this year would surpass my fingers, my toes and all protruding parts of my body counted thrice.
You know, until now, I have never really sat down and thought about how exciting or whacky my sex life is. Save for that that one time in college when I had two separate run downs on the same day! Btw, you better forget you’ve read that, because if you confront me, I will deny it and you in the process. Anyway, today I’m thinking about my sex life. I’m 29, it should be the height of my sexual activities, I should be getting one orgasm after another, day after day, not one orgasm in 2 months damnit. In 15 years to come, I will be getting hot flushes and will have fallen below my active capacity. Even the Bible does say there is a time for everything, it is my time to enjoy constant even excess sex, and I’m getting none, what? Because I am faithful? Because I can’t enjoy being with someone else? Because I need to be a good woman? And for who? For him? This strategy calls for replanning. Unless I am in a man’s house, I do not belong to any man. I’m so sorry to that part of me that is guilty and yearns to do right, but the human side of me got rights too, and the immediate one is a right to sex! So this is what is gonna happen, I cannot sleep with a random man, so I do need a boyfriend. Now, this boyfriend will be chosen on two grounds, likelihood to be faithful, and some kiasi attraction. Given that his mandate is to keep me satisfied, I shouldn’t look for a face that I want plastered on my kids, right? Which makes things easier because now I just got a hoardful of candidates. Also the length we are going to last with this man will depend on one thing, his ability to make my lips touch my toes in pleasure.
That said and decided, here is something I am promising the little horny freak inside of me, we deserve great sex and we will get it. Never again in my lifetime will I ever date a man who is unavailable for me sexually, never!. I refuse to be tied into old age habits when I am still young. I refuse regrets later in life, not on stuff I can control anyway. If there is no guy, I will get me something temporary till the guy comes. I feel good already, horny and ready.
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