What I Want

I'm so tired of keeping things to myself, when things are going well or when they are going bad. Who cares anyway, what purpose does it serve to keep things on the inside? I want things, and today, I'm letting you in on my wishes and worries:

1. I want more money. I want to start a business and it to be successful. I want to be able to live the life that i want, I want to pay my baby's school fees without feeling like someone is threatening my life and without cutting on the necessities, I want to send something small to the people who brought me up, when they need it and when I feel they need it.

2. If I only had school financing, I want to go to back to school, do a masters in market research, branding option. I want to become a prominent brand manager for a renowned brand or if God's smile reaches me, my own brand. I want to go to school and be in control of where I work, who I work for / with and be the final word on the income I want.

3. I want to cut weight and trim out, be able to buy me beautiful clothes and fit beautifully(ier) in them. I want to go the gym and yogas without feeling like someone is molesting my pocket

4. I want to see my baby in the best schools in Nairobi. I want to buy him the latest playstation. I want to be able to go to the supermarket and choose for him a birthday gift guided not by the price tag but by the impact it will have in his life

5. I want to be able to afford a holiday once in a while, to thank my body for the toil and for all those years surviving under scorching sun without burning down. I want to be able to go on a road trip and to be able to visit my friends every so often without taking my eyes to the fuel gauge every 50 metres.

6. I know you are surprised to see this come this much later knowing how important it is, but frankly, I'm trying to not let this be the center stage of my life. I wanna some man love. I want a tall, built, beautiful man, without a beery belly and with big magnificent hands and chest. I want him to go weak for me, to not be able to live without me and to put a ring on my finger. I want a daddy for my son, and a companion for my life. I want a man to vent my love and affection on, to spoil, drag around for holidays, iron shirts for, argue constantly with and make up in special ways. I want a man to share my bed as I use his chest for a pillow. I want my own man because they promised me that my man is out there, they that know best about these things.

7. I want to have courage to face my fears, to be confident to keep away from me what is not working and embrace what is. I want assurance that I will get something (a man) beautiful in physique as I have but better in nature than I've got. Yes, I have moved on in my heart but I also wanna move on in my act.

8. I want blessings for my family, friends and all those I know. I want to never have to console or assure anyone because there is no need to as everyone is living their lives the way they want to. I want my prayers to go further than the roof.

9. I want God to know that I am grateful for who I am and what I got, because I trully am. I want God to know that I have faith in Him, and I am waiting for his rightful time to grant me my desires. All the same, I want God to know that I do need a husband soon, maybe sooner than He is planning for me. I want God to bring a person with MY physical specifications and HIS spiritual specifications.

10. I want you all friends, to have a beautiful weekend.