Tuesday 17 December 2013

Anxious

'We need to talk, we really need to talk'.

I have always wondered why men make a big deal of a small sentence like 'we need to talk'. Today I received the above words in a text, I have actually left out another we need to talk because...I can't write the three of them without bursting. I am anxious to a point of nausea, and worse is the fact that I do not even know when this talk will ever happen; given the few chances I have of meeting the said dude.

I think my main problem is not the sentence, my main problem is I can't seem to even imagine what this could be about. Initially, two conclusions lept to my mind:

1. He is breaking up with me.
2. We have contracted a deadly disease.

I disqualified the first guess within minutes. This dude has broken up with me twice, and he has never shied away from doing it over the phone. It goes like 'By the way I think we need to break up', and is shortly followed by 'I am serious'. So no, unless he wishes to look me in the eye, put his hand on my chest and continue to physically pull out my bloody heart and crush it with his shoe (think of it in a horror movie way). Surely he doesn't hate me that much. But the two last times I have said I love you, there was no response. So maybe I am not that far from the truth with this one....or am I?

The 2nd guess, he disqualified himself after I got curious and asked if anything was wrong. He said it's nothing to worry about. Ahem! I think we can all agree that a disease would surely be something to worry about, or?? yeah, a disease would be worrisome. And since he says I be easy, then it's not a disease.

By now, you all know I am a pessimist, and I have run out of negative ideas. I mean, if it was pregnancy, I would be the one who is pregnant and probably the one unleashing the 'we need to talk' line. So, I am 85% sure we are not pregnant, and even if the remaining 15% chance were to pass, I am 100% sure he would not know it before me. By now, I assume we are in the same level of bewilderment, that is if you have a heart big enough to feel the emotions of a strange amateur blogger.

When I could not handle it anymore, I called my best friend and she decided to go with optimism, that since we both know that these words are the most unlikely to come out of this guy's mouth, the we expect the most unusual information from him. So this info has to be positive (If it was negative, he would have spit it over the phone. He excites at sad or negative info. So this has to be positive for it to wait). Problem is, this lady is my best friend, I can tell you without blinking that her optimism is unrealistic. Many a times, her optimism has gone overboard until at one time she wrote it down and it included the names of her unborn children. So today I listened as her optimism for my situation slowly turned into a fairly tale fantasy, and it just hit me how much I am in worse a situation that the minute I received that text!.

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