I am trying to figure out something, and you my dears are going to help me. Okay, I'm kindly asking you to please help me. I realize that you know, that I once wrote a letter to my ex (it had to be about him, but not for long, I promise). Well, I also wrote other crap that you are not aware of, but I'm sure you are not surprised given that you understand I was in a kind of a sick state, sick in teenage diseases.... Anyway, I did go through the clutter and gathered what I could, and you my lovelies are supposed to go through it, and tell me if you see where the problem started.
I start with the letter, then the response to the letter, and finally, a proposal. Please don't cry as you read.
The letter
Dear …, (Not ex then)
As
promised earlier, I am writing this application to be your woman, to have a
serious relationship with you which will – sooner rather than later – lead to
something better like marriage and solemnization of our vows to live with each
other till death.
This
request has not been made blindly, rather after more than a month of knowing
you, meeting you a few times, watching you being yourself, react to situations,
sharing what is important to me with you and in an unseen twist, feeling a
strong emotional connection with you.
In the situation that this request is approved, I promise to be a woman of integrity and to uphold the following values: Be supportive, to whatever it is that you desire to do with your life, whatever it is that you are doing and whatever it is that you feel makes you remain true to who you are. To remain faithful to you and to be respectful to you.
In the situation that this request is approved, I promise to be a woman of integrity and to uphold the following values: Be supportive, to whatever it is that you desire to do with your life, whatever it is that you are doing and whatever it is that you feel makes you remain true to who you are. To remain faithful to you and to be respectful to you.
If the
request is rejected though, I promise to uphold my dignity and give you your
much desired space. To do it in a matter most honourable to both you and me.
(In this case though, I might require some ‘mourning period’ which basically
means a period to get over you without constant appearance in my chat list, in
my phone book, which might mean not being your friend until such a time that I
might feel ready to face you again. At the said time, I will look for you in
zest and be your friend).
All of
the above promises are made with full admission that I have no knowledge of
what you are and what you do. And in this case, the support offered above is
not limited to any specific things. As long as I have made a vow, consider it
true that I will stick by it.
Yours sincerely,
(Not) Ladybird
The response was done publicly
Or
so you think.
Just because you’ve seen a husband in a man doesn’t mean I am ready to get married to you, more so if you aren’t dating or you’ve just started that journey. Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean they’ll entertain the marriage talk. What you’ll end up doing is scaring me stiff with your need for speed, even though your intentions are clean. I’ll just beat a hasty retreat.
You want me to know you aren’t taking me for a ride, you long for me to see my place in your life. But though tempting, desist from putting the pedal to the metal, or else your desires will come a cropper. Of course i want to get married, but right now, as my heart warms up to you, my priority is to know the kind of woman you are.
So i stopped you in your tracks. Absorb. Get off your high horse and take a cold Snapp or Smirnoff ice. I am just being honest, a trait you’ll come to appreciate as years go by. I am simply letting you know that, though it’s good to have an end in mind, relationships shouldn’t be rushed. You need to let things brew to a rich fine taste. There’s a time for everything, that’s what a wise king once said.
You may not understand why I am reacting negatively to your suggestions. It’s not that I am putting breaks in my heart or am reconsidering your advances. I want you to slow down, to focus on the present, to get to know each other better. I want to reach that point where i trust you to be the woman in my life, for better or for worse.
The fact that i enjoy your company, the fact that i want to constantly communicate with you, the fact that i accepted to be your boyfriend should make your nerves relax. And as they do, let your mind steer clear of marriage talk. Secure me first, and don’t fret about any possible competition, even though predators are already waiting for an opportune moment to strike.
If you rush me, your ego will be bruised. If you doubt me, your heart will be too. I don’t want you to take me for granted. I need to see, not just hear, for myself that you are serious with me, not simply being a lyrical assassin in your quest to partake the cookie jar. You have to prove yourself to your desired future husband through actions, not by what you say, but most importantly, by what you do.
So you’ve got to be wise to know when to bring the marriage topic up, you need to bide your time. Don’t dive in headfirst, or you may end up pushing the one you desire away. You’ve got to first put your money where your mouth is.
Just because you’ve seen a husband in a man doesn’t mean I am ready to get married to you, more so if you aren’t dating or you’ve just started that journey. Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean they’ll entertain the marriage talk. What you’ll end up doing is scaring me stiff with your need for speed, even though your intentions are clean. I’ll just beat a hasty retreat.
You want me to know you aren’t taking me for a ride, you long for me to see my place in your life. But though tempting, desist from putting the pedal to the metal, or else your desires will come a cropper. Of course i want to get married, but right now, as my heart warms up to you, my priority is to know the kind of woman you are.
So i stopped you in your tracks. Absorb. Get off your high horse and take a cold Snapp or Smirnoff ice. I am just being honest, a trait you’ll come to appreciate as years go by. I am simply letting you know that, though it’s good to have an end in mind, relationships shouldn’t be rushed. You need to let things brew to a rich fine taste. There’s a time for everything, that’s what a wise king once said.
You may not understand why I am reacting negatively to your suggestions. It’s not that I am putting breaks in my heart or am reconsidering your advances. I want you to slow down, to focus on the present, to get to know each other better. I want to reach that point where i trust you to be the woman in my life, for better or for worse.
The fact that i enjoy your company, the fact that i want to constantly communicate with you, the fact that i accepted to be your boyfriend should make your nerves relax. And as they do, let your mind steer clear of marriage talk. Secure me first, and don’t fret about any possible competition, even though predators are already waiting for an opportune moment to strike.
If you rush me, your ego will be bruised. If you doubt me, your heart will be too. I don’t want you to take me for granted. I need to see, not just hear, for myself that you are serious with me, not simply being a lyrical assassin in your quest to partake the cookie jar. You have to prove yourself to your desired future husband through actions, not by what you say, but most importantly, by what you do.
So you’ve got to be wise to know when to bring the marriage topic up, you need to bide your time. Don’t dive in headfirst, or you may end up pushing the one you desire away. You’ve got to first put your money where your mouth is.
The proposal, which he termed as shallow. He claimed not to read it, but I think thats bullshit, he would read a nursery rhyme if he came across it. The dude just loves reading.
Ok, I want us to date,
for an exact one year, but with rules:
1. We will date exclusive, you see a marriage, we’ll be married, only not practically. No flirting outside, not even a temptation to date. One can meet with friends though, just like they were doing before, but no using this as an excuse to cheat on this contract.
2. On the no flirting point, let us make it a whole independent rule, if you are used to flirting, and it is your natural language (where whether you like it or not, what comes out of your mouth is a flatter), that has to stop.
3. One will keep doing what they do best, drink, do music school, work, business, everything. One will continue being themselves and the other person will, without a choice, support what the other person does and strive to bring the best out of him/her without imposing their wish or what they think is best on the other.
4. In the one year, there will be no living together in the same house. You can come to my place or vice versa, but it’s only temporary, (this will be convenient instead of spending money on hotels, which by the way, are not really a show of class)
5. Talking of hotels, there will be sex, for a very simple reason really, we are human beings and sex is a basic need (to bring it closer home, we love sex with each other). How frequent, we can decide on regular intervals, or we can decide to do it when the need comes (this I don’t vote for, because what happens when one of us is not in the mood? I think the other should focus on satisfying the other, afterall, in this whole thing, we are living in the spirit of living for the other for one year, being the perfect person for the other). In the case that we come up with regular intervals, one has the right to request for sex in between if they so feel like. (Yes, I know you love me for that).
6. We will be confidants, but we must protect each other and their secrets and treat each other with respect, respect each other’s family (if you have nothing to say about the others family, keep it to yourself). Our dirty talk can remain, and criticism will remain, it’s the only way the other will improve, that will not be considered disrespect.
7. We will respect space, wishes and friends. For instance, I will never visit your blog if u don’t want me to, the same for you for whatever is my wish. You get my point. On the friends bit, you can have whatever type of friends you want to, provided they know we are dating, and they can’t come in between us
8. We will be independent people, I’ll continue eating what I was eating, being in your life does not mean what is yours is mine. The reverse applies.
9. No child in the one year, but we are welcome to talk about it and plan about it if we feel that is what we want. No marriage either. Again, talk about it, plan it. If any of this will have to happen, it will have to wait for a year after signing of the contract. (Yes, signing will be there).
10. It does not matter the level of beauty that a God’s creature exudes out there, no withdrawing from this contract, my next point will explain why.
11. We will give total surrender to each other, blind trust, leave our weaknesses for the other person to fill them. (hence point no. 10, this has to be protected to the last bit). This does not mean that either one of us is allowed to be weak so as to be supported, if any of us exposes laxity so as to exploit the other, the necessary actions will be taken! Infact, I’ll call this a year of achievement, because your relationship needs are solved, you’ll be expected to channel that energy to better things
12. I highly recommend public declaration of dating, that will keep people at bay and in some instances help one avoid being caught up in compromising scenarios
13. No starving the other one of presence (yes, this is for me). We have to meet each other constantly to strengthen our bond
14. We will participate in some activities together, we will arrange activities on signing of this contract and each of us will contribute a certain amount regularly to make this a reality. None of us can ‘steal’ from this docket.
15. One should take responsibility for their actions. In the case that I offend you, I will be required to do the necessary to restore the union to be a happy one. In the case that one breaks a rule in this contract, there will be a fine, a severe one for that matter. (We’ll decide on that together)
16. In the 1% chance that you’ll agree to this weird contract, you are welcome to amend it, change it to your will, and then we’ll reach a final consensus. Again if we agree, this will be signed and a copy kept by each party. It’s a serious affair.
17. The basic objective of this is, to take one year off from the cruel world and be each other’s keeper and protector. To live with kindness and support each other well. Ultimately, to come out of it better people, stronger people ready to face the world afresh. This must be upheld in whatever activities one is engaging with.
1. We will date exclusive, you see a marriage, we’ll be married, only not practically. No flirting outside, not even a temptation to date. One can meet with friends though, just like they were doing before, but no using this as an excuse to cheat on this contract.
2. On the no flirting point, let us make it a whole independent rule, if you are used to flirting, and it is your natural language (where whether you like it or not, what comes out of your mouth is a flatter), that has to stop.
3. One will keep doing what they do best, drink, do music school, work, business, everything. One will continue being themselves and the other person will, without a choice, support what the other person does and strive to bring the best out of him/her without imposing their wish or what they think is best on the other.
4. In the one year, there will be no living together in the same house. You can come to my place or vice versa, but it’s only temporary, (this will be convenient instead of spending money on hotels, which by the way, are not really a show of class)
5. Talking of hotels, there will be sex, for a very simple reason really, we are human beings and sex is a basic need (to bring it closer home, we love sex with each other). How frequent, we can decide on regular intervals, or we can decide to do it when the need comes (this I don’t vote for, because what happens when one of us is not in the mood? I think the other should focus on satisfying the other, afterall, in this whole thing, we are living in the spirit of living for the other for one year, being the perfect person for the other). In the case that we come up with regular intervals, one has the right to request for sex in between if they so feel like. (Yes, I know you love me for that).
6. We will be confidants, but we must protect each other and their secrets and treat each other with respect, respect each other’s family (if you have nothing to say about the others family, keep it to yourself). Our dirty talk can remain, and criticism will remain, it’s the only way the other will improve, that will not be considered disrespect.
7. We will respect space, wishes and friends. For instance, I will never visit your blog if u don’t want me to, the same for you for whatever is my wish. You get my point. On the friends bit, you can have whatever type of friends you want to, provided they know we are dating, and they can’t come in between us
8. We will be independent people, I’ll continue eating what I was eating, being in your life does not mean what is yours is mine. The reverse applies.
9. No child in the one year, but we are welcome to talk about it and plan about it if we feel that is what we want. No marriage either. Again, talk about it, plan it. If any of this will have to happen, it will have to wait for a year after signing of the contract. (Yes, signing will be there).
10. It does not matter the level of beauty that a God’s creature exudes out there, no withdrawing from this contract, my next point will explain why.
11. We will give total surrender to each other, blind trust, leave our weaknesses for the other person to fill them. (hence point no. 10, this has to be protected to the last bit). This does not mean that either one of us is allowed to be weak so as to be supported, if any of us exposes laxity so as to exploit the other, the necessary actions will be taken! Infact, I’ll call this a year of achievement, because your relationship needs are solved, you’ll be expected to channel that energy to better things
12. I highly recommend public declaration of dating, that will keep people at bay and in some instances help one avoid being caught up in compromising scenarios
13. No starving the other one of presence (yes, this is for me). We have to meet each other constantly to strengthen our bond
14. We will participate in some activities together, we will arrange activities on signing of this contract and each of us will contribute a certain amount regularly to make this a reality. None of us can ‘steal’ from this docket.
15. One should take responsibility for their actions. In the case that I offend you, I will be required to do the necessary to restore the union to be a happy one. In the case that one breaks a rule in this contract, there will be a fine, a severe one for that matter. (We’ll decide on that together)
16. In the 1% chance that you’ll agree to this weird contract, you are welcome to amend it, change it to your will, and then we’ll reach a final consensus. Again if we agree, this will be signed and a copy kept by each party. It’s a serious affair.
17. The basic objective of this is, to take one year off from the cruel world and be each other’s keeper and protector. To live with kindness and support each other well. Ultimately, to come out of it better people, stronger people ready to face the world afresh. This must be upheld in whatever activities one is engaging with.
So ladies and gentlemen, do you detect any problems so far?
Thank you for passing by, Ahsante.
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