The Egyptian...

A month ago, I met an Egyptian in a ma3. Please note that, a ma3. He sat next to me, he was going to spring valley. He did mention that his house neighbours the American Embassy… yes, lots of more crap. I had lost my phone just the previous day, so he wrote his number on a piece of paper and I promised to look him up, that is after spending the whole journey singing of how pretty I was and how much he would like to be given a chance to spoil me, really spoil me. (he must have said that like 13 times, you know I hate the number 13). Now, 2 things. First the meeting point. I don’t trust some people if I meet them in a Ma3, I mean if he was perfectly black and Luo or Luhya or any of the other kadhalika tribes of Kenya, hakungekuwa na wass. Lakini!... u stay there and continue labeling me a tribalist, mimi nina more important things to think about. 2^nd, I just don’t trust Egyptians,Lybians, Nigerians and …waitforit!.. Indians! I always imagine that they have taken too much chilli and their breath must surely stink of all those spices!

Anyway, ndio ujue nimeboeka, I am actually toying with the idea of calling that number! Been seriously toying with that idea for the last 2 days. Someone come and save me before its too late!

Post Script:
So I listened to some ill advice and used the number. Now we are so into each other we have even started planning our wedding! I'm sure that is what you would have expected to hear, right? well, very disturbing news ladies and gentlemen, my fears have been confirmed, we have a fake, con Egyptian in Kenya living in Spring Valley. (I have a feeling he is a servant such as a chef or something. Are Egyptians good cooks?). So how do I know this? we spoke on phone, and when we were done, there was a rather weird exchange of texts. Less than a minute after I placed my handset down, the texts started:

Conan: Can I come over to your house tomorrow?
Ladybird: Tomorrow will not be such a good day, I have appointments in town the whole day.
Conan: But you are my neighbour! I can please come tomorrow, everyday I thought I will see you, then my heart melted down.
(I swear, I am also struggling to understand that.)
Ladybird: As I told you, I cannot have you over tomorrow because I will be out most of the day. An idea here though, how about I pass by your place since it's right on my way?
Conan: mmmmhhhhh,I see. can I come in the morning? what time will you be leaving?
Ladybird: I am supposed to be in town by 10 am, it would be much easier to pass by yours as you are right on my way.
Conan: Till what time will you be in town?
Ladybird: Early evening, around 5 pm.
Conan: How is the baby?
(To clarify this, I was with my son on the day of the meeting.)
Ladybird: He's well.
Conan: I wanna see him KESHOO.
(No, the text was not in caps, did you read the piece I had on Chinedu? we deduced that he was so fake simply because he is a Nigerian who can speak fluent Swa! Now you see? I know, kesho is a simple word which anyone who has been in Nairobi for sometime could have picked up, but I am  not giving a space for explanations here, we are here to catch a thief, any little evidence is important!)
Ladybrd: That will not be possible as I will not be taking him with me.
Conan: Ok, Sunday I can come over to see him then.

Okay, tell me you guys are not worried for my safety right now! I just had to stop right there. Now this is what happens, I am going to look for the stupid 'clueless about dating' idiots who encouraged me to text and smack their asses! Kubaff! Going to get my sleep.